Subtle Signs of an Eating Disorder, Part 1: Food Rules
Written by ‘Ai Pono Hawaii Staff Writer
Maybe you haven’t lost an excessive amount of weight in a short period of time. You don’t purge or use laxatives. You might not exercise to the point of exhaustion, or pass out in public. Does this mean you can’t possibly have an eating disorder?
Not all eating disorders are that “extreme.” Many (if not most) eating disorder beliefs and behaviors are not visible to the naked eye and do not adhere exactly to listed criteria.
If there’s anything you need to know about eating disorders, it’s this: every eating disorder is unique. Every individual experiences an eating disorder in a different way and for different reasons. There are very apparent symptoms of an eating disorder, but there are also more subtle signs of an eating disorder, too.
Subtle Signs of an Eating Disorder: Disordered Food Rules
Some people who have a problem with food are very aware of it, but not everyone. If you have any of the following rules surrounding food, you might have a problem you never even noticed.
1. You let yourself have an extra serving, a treat, or something you’re craving. But only if you “work it off” later.
This disordered behavior concerns both food and exercise.
You see food as something you have to earn. Or, you feel like a criminal when you eat something “unplanned,” and exercise is your penance. This disordered thought process is, in itself, one of the subtle signs of an eating disorder.
2. You obsessively plan out your grocery shopping, meals, and outings.
Meal planning is cost effective and helps you make sure you’re getting in all the nutrition you need. But you don’t just “meal plan” — you obsess. You meticulously go over what recipes you’ll use, what you’re going to buy and spend hours in the grocery store checking nutritional facts.
3. You have to stick to a meal schedule.
You plan out your exact meals and snacks, and must execute this plan just right, even if you:
Really don’t want what you have scheduled for the day
Don’t actually have the time to make the meal or snack you planned for
Forgot an ingredient, and have to go to the store and get it
Get invited out with family or friends
4. You need to use specific plates, bowls, utensils, etc.
Some people also use small or child-sized items to eat with, so they don’t eat as quickly.
5. You bring your own food to events, restaurants, or other peoples’ houses.
While it’s normal to bring food to picnics or parties, it’s not normal to bring your own food everywhere you go.
If there’s nothing you “are allowed to eat” at someone else’s house, a restaurant, or food-centric get together, you are restricting your food. Even if you eat an entire meal with others, or your safe foods are not completely “clean” or “healthy”, you don’t have total food freedom.
6. You are an extremely picky eater, and not because of allergies.
There is a difference between picky eating and extremely picky eating. While some people may not like a huge variety of food from all over the world, it’s typically easy for them to find something to eat when they go out.
But extremely picky eating limits you in social settings, makes you anxious if you can’t find foods in your comfort zone, and causes malnourishment if you cut out entire food groups.
Related: Extremely picky eating is officially classified as a unique eating disorder — ARFID. These are the signs of ARFID and how to distinguish picky eating from an eating disorder.
7. You leave off caloric dressings and condiments, or you have them “on the side.”
While some people have ketchup on the side, you have everything on the side, or no “extras” at all.
You might do this even when it doesn’t make sense. For example, you might put pancake syrup in a little bowl or leave it off altogether. Pancakes are usually even with syrup, or some other topping. If you sacrifice your eating experience so you can “save calories,” this is a subtle form of restriction.
8. unusual food/condiment combinations
Most people have some food combination(s) they enjoy that sound completely unappetizing to others. But as a disordered behavior, you create food or condiment combinations that just sound gross to “save calories.”
For example, you might:
Create unusual low calorie snack combinations (like the dangerous carrots and mustard trend on social media last year)
Use an excessive amount of salt or seasoning to give something (usually something bland like cauliflower rice) more “flavor”
Use other low calorie substitutes for condiments such as lemon juice, etc.
9. You hyperfocus on food when eating. Or, you disconnect entirely.
While you may not heavily restrict or end up bingeing every night, one of the subtle signs of an eating disorder is how aware you are about food when you’re eating.
It’s normal to munch on snacks when you’re watching TV or a movie — despite what fitness magazines tell you about this practice. A lot of people eat a bit more than they had intended to in these scenarios. But they can read their hunger cues and know when they’re overful. And then they can stop. Some people however may focus so intensely on their food that they can’t pay attention to what they’re watching. Or, the body completely disconnects from the mind, and you end up eating an uncomfortable amount of food.
In both of these scenarios, you are not eating mindfully. This means that you don't spend your time with food in a healthy way.
10. You always go with the lower calorie option.
You might have a problem if you:
Modify your order at coffee shops or restaurants, to reduce the number of calories you consume while eating out
Buy sugar free foods and drinks, cook “healthy, sugar free” desserts, and use artificial sweeteners (but you are not diabetic)
Alter a recipe to remove oils, fats, carbs, or anything else you deem “unhealthy”
Always have to go with the lower calorie option, even when it’s more expensive or inconvenient
11. You need the “perfect conditions” to eat in. You won’t ever eat in the car, on the couch, while walking, while in a social gathering, etc.
In addition to eating specific foods using specific items, you might be rigid about where you eat and who you allow yourself to eat with. You might also have strange rituals around food, like:
You need to go to the bathroom before or after eating
There is a specific spot you have to sit in to eat
You must watch TV or read a book while eating, because the thought of eating gives you anxiety
Every meal or snack you have must be exactly what you wanted, or it’s a “waste of calories”
If you see eating as a special experience that has to be done in the perfect setting, that’s a problem. Eating is not a test that you can pass or fail, depending on how prepared you were about the food you eat. This mindset, as well as the behaviors, are subtle signs of an eating disorder.
12. You consume an excessive amount of food related media content.
You are always watching cooking shows and “what I eat in a day” videos. You are constantly reading up on new diet tips, tricks, and trends. You follow food or fitness “journeys.”
You use all this information to “motivate” you. Or, you take all this content as a guide for weight loss. You might also use this content as a way to compare yourself to others.
13. When you eat with others, you always compare your meal to everyone else's.
Instead of enjoying the company of friends, family, or coworkers, you’re focused on one thing — how much?
How much are you eating? How much is everyone else eating? How much “healthier” are you eating in comparison to them?
You might also be paranoid others are judging you and your food choices. You might choose the “healthier” option so you don’t look “greedy,” or so that people don’t think you “eat terribly.”
14. You record all the food you eat. All of it.
Every time you eat or drink something with calories, you enter it into a fitness app, a food journal, and/or you take a picture of it.
This is a common practice in today’s diet culture. It is also a subtle sign of an eating disorder, as logging your food is an unnecessary control mechanism.
15. You “stave off hunger” with water, gum, calorie free drinks, etc.
“If you feel hungry, drink a glass of water” is a diet culture mantra. Drinking water, chewing gum, drinking calorie free sodas, and eating “zero calorie” foods like celery are all ways of suppressing your appetite.
Instead of just eating when you know you’re hungry, you try to trick your brain into thinking that you’re not hungry at all.
We’ll say it again for the people in the back…eating disorders do not discriminate!
You might not “fit the look” of an eating disorder, or the exact diagnostic description for one, but that doesn’t make your struggle with food invalid or not enough to pursue support or treatment.
These less noticeable eating disorder behaviors do not just apply to people with restrictive eating disorders either. You might feel that your problem isn’t with restriction — it’s with overeating. But many people who overeat also engage in these subtle restrictive eating disorder behaviors. This is because overeating is usually the result of restriction.
So don’t write off your restrictive patterns because you overeat, or even, eat normally at times. In the end, you might reach caloric “balance,” but you won’t have a balanced relationship with food.
If you or someone you love is suffering from an eating disorder, take the first step today and talk to talk to someone about recovery or simply learn more about the eating disorder recovery programs we offer.