The Role of Family in Eating Disorder Treatment

Written by ‘Ai Pono Hawaii Staff Writer

Has your loved one been diagnosed with an eating disorder? Whether it’s your child, sibling, spouse, or parent, it’s hard to watch a family member suffering from an eating disorder. But the good news is, you don’t have to sit back and watch them suffer in silence. There are things you can do to help. We’re going to examine the role of family in eating disorder treatment and uncover practical ways you can support your loved one during treatment and beyond. 

The Relationship Between Families and Eating Disorders

If your child or family member was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder, first know that it is not your fault. Numerous research shows that eating disorders are complex bio-psycho-social illnesses. As such, eating disorders have no single cause. Instead, things like genetic and biological factors, personality traits, and environmental and social pressures all play a role in the development of an eating disorder. In fact, recent studies reveal that genetic and inherited biological factors contribute over 55 percent to the risk of developing an eating disorder. 

In short, a wealth of data and research reveals individuals with eating disorders come from a wide range of family backgrounds and that no specific family context or structure is connected to the development of an eating disorder. However, families do play an important role in eating disorder recovery. 

Why Family Is an Important Part of Recovery

As complex mental illnesses, eating disorders not only disrupt the sufferer’s life, but also the entire family system. In addition to the pain of seeing their loved one suffer the psychological and physical symptoms of an eating disorder, family members often struggle to understand the disorder. If you don’t understand something, it can be hard to know how best to provide help and support. 

Unfortunately, many families don’t receive the education and help they need to support their loved one through recovery. One reason for this is that despite numerous studies and research confirming the opposite, some clinicians and doctors still treat family problems as one of the primary causes of eating disorders. Because of this, they fail to include family members in the treatment and recovery process. 

Leaving family out of the treatment process is harmful for several reasons. First, since environmental factors can play a part in eating disorders, it is important for families to provide a supportive and trigger-free space for their loved one during recovery. This is especially crucial when transitioning them back to normal life (if the patient was sent to hospitalization or a residential treatment program). But if the family is left out of the treatment equation, they may not be equipped to provide a safe and supportive recovery environment. 

Second, if parents and family members feel they are to blame for the disorder and are left in the dark about treatment and recovery, they may project feelings of negativity and self-blame onto the child. This could unintentionally sabotage the treatment process and make recovery much harder. Third, a person’s family can be one of their greatest allies for recovery, providing daily support and encouragement. But if the family is excluded from treatment, the patient may miss out on this powerful support system. 

The Role of Family in Eating Disorder Treatment

Without a doubt, families play an important role in eating disorder treatment. But what exactly is the role they play? In other words, how can families get involved in/take part in eating disorder treatment?

There are many different ways families can get involved in the treatment of their loved one. The level of care their loved one needs, their loved one’s age and willingness for the family to participate, and the family’s proximity to a treatment center all determine the family’s level of involvement in eating disorder treatment. 

Family Intervention

One of the first ways families (especially parents) can get involved in their loved one’s eating disorder recovery is to help them see their need for treatment and find them professional care. Remember, eating disorders are complex mental illnesses and as such, they typically require professional help and treatment to overcome. 

One of the common obstacles to eating disorder recovery is denial. Many individuals with eating disorders (especially those with anorexia nervosa) fail to see the severity of their problem, with one study revealing 80 percent of anorexia nervosa patients were in denial of their illness. As a parent or sibling, it can be extremely hard to watch your family member suffer from an illness they don’t even believe they have. This is where you can help. 

Here are a few ways you can intervene for your family member and help them seek professional treatment:

  • Find out the signs and symptoms of eating disorders to better detect the early stages of an eating disorder and to understand what your loved one is going through. 

  • Search for eating disorder treatment programs in your area (or beyond) and contact them directly to seek assistance and support as you guide your loved one towards treatment. 

  • Talk to your loved one about their struggle. If you’re not sure how to approach the subject, here’s a great resource to help you talk to your loved one about their eating disorder. 

  • If your loved one is in denial about their illness, consider enlisting the help of a professional eating disorder interventionist. They will help stage an intervention to help your loved one see their need for treatment, and even help you find a suitable eating disorder treatment program in your area. 

Family Therapy

Family therapy is especially helpful when treating children 18 years of age or younger, but can be (and has been) used to support recovery in people of all ages. Family therapy typically involves group therapy sessions with the parents and child together, but may also include sessions with each party individually. During these sessions, the therapist will typically provide the parents with psycho-education about the nature of eating disorders and give them tools to support their loved one’s treatment. 

Family therapy equips parents to support their child’s treatment at home by uncovering some of the underlying issues going on with the child, teaching the parents how to manage their child’s exercise and eating patterns at home, and educating them about eating disorders in general. Keep in mind, family therapy for eating disorders is different than regular family therapy. If your loved one is suffering from an eating disorder and you want to use a family eating disorder treatment approach, look for eating disorder-specific family therapy programs. 

Eating Disorder Family Support

Whether your loved one goes to family therapy and continues to live at home during treatment or enrolls in a residential program away from home, you can still play an important part in their recovery process. Here at ‘Ai Pono, we strongly encourage family members to stay connected to their loved ones during the treatment process. Those with family members in our residential program are invited to come for weekly visits (if deemed appropriate and helpful by the treatment team), can communicate daily via phone, and are encouraged to contact the treatment team regularly to stay up to date on their loved one’s progress. 

We also suggest that family members learn as much as they can about eating disorders and recovery while their loved one is in treatment, so when they return home, the family is equipped to provide ongoing support and encouragement. Here are some of our favorite go-to resources for eating disorder education:

Blogs

Books

Practical Ways Families Can Support Their Loved One During Treatment

Finally, if your family member or loved one has an eating disorder, here are a few practical ways you can support them during treatment and beyond:

  • Never talk about diets, calories, or fat content. Announcing, “I’m starting a diet Monday” may seem harmless to you, but can be extremely difficult to hear for your loved one in recovery.

  • Stay away from labeling foods as “healthy,” “good,” “fattening,” or “bad.” These labels can be triggering for people with an eating disorder. 

  • Never make comments about weight or body shape (even about your own). Saying “I look fat in these jeans” or “Aunt Linda looks so good after losing her weight” can send your loved one spiraling. 

  • Set an example of normal, balanced eating by eating desserts (and other foods often deemed “high calorie”) without any guilt, shame, or regret attached to it. This can positively reinforce normal eating patterns for your child. 

  • Get rid of all scales in the home, and consider getting rid of full-length mirrors as well (at least temporarily). 

  • Spend quality time with your loved one. Often (especially for teens) the best way to do this is just to hang out and enjoy downtime together. No lecturing or disapproving comments, just relaxed one-on-one time. This might be watching a movie, taking a walk (if appropriate), or flipping through a magazine on their bed while they do homework. 

  • Continue educating yourself (and your entire family) about eating disorders and recovery. The more you know about and understand the disorder, the better able you are to support your loved one’s recovery. 

  • Stay in close contact with your loved one’s treatment team. Don’t be afraid to ask them questions and find out more about your loved one’s struggles and progress. 

If your loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, take the first step today and talk to someone about recovery or simply learn more about the eating disorder recovery programs we offer.

Ai Pono