Eating Disorder Awareness Month Blog – Week 2: Breaking Barriers: Addressing Common Concerns About Eating Disorder Treatment
Welcome to the second post in our February blog series honoring Eating Disorder Awareness Month. In this entry, we discuss eating disorder treatment concerns and how to respect your reservations about starting eating disorder treatment.
“Recovery from disordered eating requires honoring rather than condemning the resistance encountered. It [recovery] insists upon a recognition that any behavior that slows, stalls, or creates obstacles in the path toward recovery has meaning and a purpose that can be valuable, even essential.”
— ‘Ai Pono Founder Dr. Anita Johnston, from Eating in the Light of the Moon
The Self-Protecting Instinct of Resistance
Resistance to recovery is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a natural, self-protecting instinct.
Our minds and bodies are wired to protect us from harm, and when we’ve lived with disordered eating for a while, it becomes a part of our identity. Changing that can feel like losing a part of ourselves, which is why resistance emerges. It’s your inner self trying to shield you from what it perceives as a threat.
Your mind and body have developed certain patterns and behaviors as a way to cope with the world around you. These patterns served a purpose at some point. They became a shield, a way to manage stress, anxiety, or other overwhelming emotions.
You might be standing at the threshold of a significant journey – recovery from disordered eating. It’s a path that can fill you with both hope and apprehension. You have questions and uncertainties.
But here’s the beautiful truth: this challenge gives you an invaluable opportunity for growth and self-discovery. You are not just shedding old habits or suppressing your instincts; you are making space for new, healthier ways of being.
You are giving yourself permission to explore who you truly are, beyond the confines of disordered eating.
Fears About Seeking Treatment
When you consider embarking on a recovery journey, you are essentially asking yourself to let go of many of your protective mechanisms. This can feel incredibly scary because it means stepping into the unknown. You’re asking a warrior to drop her armor in the middle of a raging battlefield – it goes against every instinct of self-preservation.
One of the most frightening eating disorder recovery obstacles is the reevaluation of your self-concept. Who are you without these behaviors? How do you define yourself outside of your old, much-relied-upon patterns?
These are deeply profound questions. It’s natural to feel troubled about this shift because it means rewriting the story you’ve told yourself for so long.
When your worldview is called into question, when your very concept of who you are is challenged, it can bring about complex and troubling feelings. We’ll take a look at the most common fears surrounding eating disorder treatment.
Will I be Judged?
Fear of judgment is an undeniably powerful force. It taps into our deepest human need for acceptance and belonging.
In early childhood, we learn that being accepted by our peers and community is essential for our well-being and even our survival. This instinctual drive to fit in and be liked can shape our behaviors and attitudes in many positive ways, encouraging us to cooperate, empathize, and build meaningful relationships.
However, when fear of judgment becomes a primary motivator, it can have damaging effects on our self-perception and behaviors. It can lead us to suppress our true selves, conform to others’ expectations, and avoid taking risks that might lead to personal growth. This stifling effect can smother our individuality and creativity, making us feel like we have to hide parts of ourselves to be accepted.
Moreover, when we let fear of judgment dominate our decisions, it can diminish our ability to advocate for ourselves. We might avoid speaking up for our needs and desires, settling for less than we deserve, and allowing others to dictate our path. This can erode our self-esteem and leave us feeling powerless and disconnected from the person we worked so hard to become.
It’s important to recognize that while a healthy concern for others’ opinions can guide us in positive ways, we must also nurture our ability to value and express our authentic selves.
What if I Lose Control?
Fear of losing control is a natural and understandable human instinct.
We all have a hard-wired desire to be the primary custodians of our choices, identities, and fates. This need for autonomy is reasonable and even healthy; adults should have the power to shape their lives and make decisions that align with their values and goals.
However, when this need for control becomes overpowering, it can drive unhelpful and ultimately destructive behaviors. The desire to manage every aspect of our lives with rigor can lead to rigidity, stress, and an inability to adapt to the inevitable uncertainties and changes that life brings. This inflexibility can create a cycle of anxiety and frustration, as we struggle to achieve and maintain firm control over inherently unpredictable things.
Often, a need for excessive control can mask a deeper issue: a fundamental lack of trust in oneself and one’s abilities to cope with the unknown.
When we fear losing control, we may be doubting our capacity to handle challenges and uncertainties. Building trust in ourselves involves recognizing our strengths, learning from our experiences, and developing a compassionate understanding of human limitations.
By embracing a more balanced approach – valuing our autonomy while also accepting the natural uncertainties of life – we can foster a healthier relationship with control. This balance allows us to advocate for ourselves effectively, without becoming overwhelmed by the need to micromanage every outcome. It encourages us to trust in our ability to navigate the unknown, fostering resilience and a deeper sense of self-assurance.
Who Will I Become?
Fear of losing or reexamining the identity you’ve spent years nurturing and empowering can be an incredibly challenging endeavor, especially in eating disorder recovery. This identity, often intertwined with your most treasured achievements, becomes a core part of who you are.
When disordered eating enters the picture, it can corrupt this natural desire to preserve and protect your identity to such an extent that it disrupts your entire sense of self.
Disordered eating often becomes entangled with notions of success, discipline, and an enviable lifestyle. Initially, it might seem like it brings tangible benefits: you feel strong and capable, you adhere to strict routines, and you might even receive admiration for your dedication.
However, over time, this disorder begins to erode the very benefits it was supposed to bring.
- You are strong and capable, but your disorder makes you tired and dizzy.
- You value your friends and social network, but you continually opt out of any event where food is served.
- You want to be open, focused, and present, but you are habitually distracted by “food noise” and rituals surrounding food.
Recognizing this shift is the first step toward healing. It’s about reclaiming your identity from the clutches of disordered eating and rediscovering the strengths and qualities that truly define you.
Recovery is not about losing a part of yourself but about freeing yourself from the destructive patterns that have hijacked your identity. It’s about finding new, healthier ways to be your best self – one that is sustainable and fulfilling.
Starting Eating Disorder Treatment
The journey toward recovery from an eating disorder is a path that can feel rocky and perilous, filled with fears and uncertainties.
At ‘Ai Pono, we understand the depth of these uncertainties and offer a unique approach to recovery, one that incorporates the sacred concept of mana into evidence-based treatment modalities in our in-patient and virtual intensive outpatient programs.
The Sacred Concept of Mana
Mana is a powerful and deeply rooted concept in Hawaiian culture. It represents a spiritual energy and healing force that flows through all living things.
Mana speaks to the essence of who you are, connecting you to a source of inner strength and wisdom.
Evidence-Based Therapies
We combine the sacred concept of mana with evidence-based therapies to create a comprehensive and effective treatment approach. Our therapies include dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), and Nutrition Therapy, each designed to address different aspects of eating disorder recovery.
Gently and Compassionately Acknowledging and Reevaluating Fears
Once your fears are recognized and honored, the next step is to gently and compassionately investigate and reevaluate them.
This process is not about dismissing your fears but about understanding them more deeply. Our therapists and counselors use a compassionate approach to help you explore the roots of your fears, uncovering the underlying beliefs and experiences that contribute to them.
Your resistance to recovery is a testament to your strength and the depth of your experiences. It’s a sign that you are ready to embark on a profound journey of self-discovery and healing.
Embrace your reservations, honor your experiences, and trust in your ability to grow.
You are not alone, and your journey is powerful evidence of the resilience of the human spirit.
When you’re ready, we’re here.
