From Our Founder

The story of ‘Ai Pono Hawaii, formed in 2001, actually began indirectly in the early 1980’s when I was supervising a psychology student who was doing her doctoral dissertation on the incidence of eating disorders in Hawaii. After numerous discussions with her and a social worker who had to create her own recovery because of a lack of available treatment options in the islands, the three of us said, “There ought to be a treatment center here."

After saying that for the fifth time, we looked at each other and laughed as we recognized we were it; that if this were to happen we needed to create it. And so, the Anorexia & Bulimia Center of Hawaii was born in 1982.

Though it was not my conscious intention back then, over the next twenty-five years, ABC Hawaii eventually spawned ‘Ai Pono Hawaii as the centerpiece for a unique set of disordered eating programs that have broadened their scope to include men, as well as women. The ‘Ai Pono Women’s Program assists women struggling with anorexia, bulimia or compulsive eating as they discover their own pathway to recovery through the nation’s first eating disorders intensive outpatient program (EDIOP). The ‘Ai Pono Body Balance Program provides support and intensive outpatient counseling to women and men struggling with disordered eating and disabling weight issues.

It had been one of those situations where “if you build it, they will come”—initially with ABC Hawaii, and now, through ‘Ai Pono Hawaii as the ‘home’ for these programs. And come they did once ABC Hawaii took form. Individuals of all ages, sizes, ethnicities, and a full range of disordered eating issues showed up -- not just with anorexia and bulimia, but yo-yo dieting, compulsive eating, exercise addiction and resistance, binge eating, and many combinations of the above.

Several fundamental questions kept coming up for me: What was it about these particular individuals that caused them to face such overwhelming struggles? And why were their struggles getting expressed through food, eating, and body issues?

Information regarding the treatment of eating disorders was not easily available back then, so we began meeting on a regular basis to figure out the best ways to address this problem. One of the prevailing theories at that time was that eating disorders were caused by trauma. However, although many of the individuals I was seeing indeed had had some traumatic experiences in their lives or had had difficult childhoods, there were many more who came from loving, intact families and had had no significant trauma.

And so, because I am a storyteller, and because as a psychologist I am a trained story listener, I began to listen very closely to their stories, trying to find some clue as to what might be behind or beneath their struggles with food, fat, and dieting.

What I discovered was that these individuals were very much like the outspoken child in the fairytale, The Emperor’s New Clothes. They were highly intuitive, emotionally sensitive, and seemed to have an innate capacity to perceive subtle realities: they could read between the lines, perceive hypocrisy, see the bigger picture, or sense when things were not okay even when everyone around them said everything was just fine. Unfortunately, when they spoke candidly about their impressions and said, “The Emperor has no clothes,” they were either ignored, rejected, ridiculed or, in some cases, abused.

It soon became apparent that the disordered eating functioned as a mechanism to help them cope with their ‘thin-skinned nature’. It enabled them to stuff their truth, quiet their voice, and dim their light so they could fit in. It was the best way they could come up with to distract themselves (and others) from their ‘differentness’ which they interpreted as a flaw and cause for their feelings of alienation. Unfortunately, this adaptive mechanism began to take over their lives, ultimately creating more problems than it solved.

When they found their way to ‘Ai Pono Hawaii’s actual starting point, the Anorexia & Bulimia Center, they began the process of finding and reclaiming their true nature and developing the skills one needs for being a ‘thin-skinned’ person in a ‘thick skinned’ world.

‘Ai Pono Hawaii is based on my belief that serious and unresolved disordered eating issues provide individuals with one of the greatest opportunities of their lives---the opportunity to set themselves free and truly discover ‘Who I Am”. ‘Ai Pono Hawaii is an integrated family of therapists and nutritionists dedicated to helping those who want to break free from their struggles with food, eating, and body image. If you, or someone you care about, is looking for assistance, I invite you to contact us.

Warmest aloha,
Anita Johnston, Ph.D.
Director, ‘Ai Pono Hawaii